Reply - 《極短篇主題式創挑》─喜劇篇 | Penana
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Reply - 《極短篇主題式創挑》─喜劇篇
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穹葉
感謝謝謝謝謝第二次發文!第一篇因為不符規定所以沒有過審,略顯可惜啊~
本篇的哀傷程度為:2分!(各別送給兩個裁縫XD)
切題度的部分,喜劇只能算佔了一半,童書化的話因為是改寫童話故事,但也只能算佔了一半,畢竟聰明如我(^ρ^)/看穿了真相,這樣會嚇到孩子的!!!!
劇情部分可能是因為字限的關係,所以很多地方沒有表達清楚,就是每一段每一段都很跳躍。
抓個小BUG,國王既然已經回到皇宮了,那麼「那小孩」就不存在了,算是文法問題吧哈哈,正確應該是「剛才有個小孩」之類的會比較通順唷唷( ^ω^)
除了每段都跳躍跳躍的,文筆上沒有太大的問題,只是還不足童書化的可愛有趣,而且孩子們可能會不懂最後到底是怎樣,然後知道真相可能會怕怕XD
吐槽一下,那兩個裁縫其實挺聰明的🤣🤣🤣難怪會做出聰明人才看得到的新衣呢XD
本篇的額外挑戰為:3點!
>無情感元素
>諷刺
>明確開頭與結尾
1 year ago
梓浩韋文
謝謝意見
1 year ago
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本篇的哀傷程度為:2分!(各別送給兩個裁縫XD)
切題度的部分,喜劇只能算佔了一半,童書化的話因為是改寫童話故事,但也只能算佔了一半,畢竟聰明如我(^ρ^)/看穿了真相,這樣會嚇到孩子的!!!!
劇情部分可能是因為字限的關係,所以很多地方沒有表達清楚,就是每一段每一段都很跳躍。
抓個小BUG,國王既然已經回到皇宮了,那麼「那小孩」就不存在了,算是文法問題吧哈哈,正確應該是「剛才有個小孩」之類的會比較通順唷唷( ^ω^)
除了每段都跳躍跳躍的,文筆上沒有太大的問題,只是還不足童書化的可愛有趣,而且孩子們可能會不懂最後到底是怎樣,然後知道真相可能會怕怕XD
吐槽一下,那兩個裁縫其實挺聰明的🤣🤣🤣難怪會做出聰明人才看得到的新衣呢XD
本篇的額外挑戰為:3點!
>無情感元素
>諷刺
>明確開頭與結尾