Okay, so this is going to seem like a heck of a lot of criticism, but I can assure you, this does not affect the overall success or delivery of your story, which, by the way, is pretty damn good! I have picked out almost every typo or nit-picky-thing I could possibly find - they go as follows:
1) Make sure not to use commas in place of full stops e.g at beginning "I mean, who in their right mind could have seen this coming, maybe an absolutely..." - the comma before "maybe" needs to be changed to a full stop or semi-colon
2) I feel in the opening paragraph "whatever" is a bit of an anti-climax and unneccessary after "pen, paintbrush, pencil" - just personal opinion
3) Paragraph 2: "Electricity" in place of "electric", unless that's just an American thing, in which case ignore me!
4) try not to start two sentences in a row with "so"
5) Paragraph beginning "Ms. Kammeyer let out an awkward chuckle..." - that is one long sentence! Just try giving it a read yourself...
6) make sure not to use an apostrophe in "it's" when it isn't possessive or a conjunction of "it is"
7) "explatives"?? "Do you mean "expletives"?
8) paragraph beginning "the only thing thst remained, that there was ever humans on this beach". I'm guessing you rushed this part, since it requires a little tweaking.
9) "sprouts of dirt"! I think you meant "spouts"!
10) paragraph beginning "I've had enough" changes tense unneccessarily and is a little confusing.
However, on the positive side, it is a beautifully crafted piece of text, with some lovely interspersed bits of description. I'm sure some proof-reading will allow you to correct any minor errors.
This really had me gripped and the sudden change from normality to disaster really worked for me.
Thank you SO much. I'm gonna put fixing all those things on this week's agenda. I hope you'll come back to maybe double check it? Your choice. It'd be splendid if you did. Btw I'm American and was emulating a Brit as well as I could. 😂. I'm so humbled by the fact you actually took the time to carefully analyze my story. Thank you so much! It means a great deal to me.
I have picked out almost every typo or nit-picky-thing I could possibly find - they go as follows:
1) Make sure not to use commas in place of full stops e.g at beginning "I mean, who in their right mind could have seen this coming, maybe an absolutely..." - the comma before "maybe" needs to be changed to a full stop or semi-colon
2) I feel in the opening paragraph "whatever" is a bit of an anti-climax and unneccessary after "pen, paintbrush, pencil" - just personal opinion
3) Paragraph 2: "Electricity" in place of "electric", unless that's just an American thing, in which case ignore me!
4) try not to start two sentences in a row with "so"
5) Paragraph beginning "Ms. Kammeyer let out an awkward chuckle..." - that is one long sentence! Just try giving it a read yourself...
6) make sure not to use an apostrophe in "it's" when it isn't possessive or a conjunction of "it is"
7) "explatives"?? "Do you mean "expletives"?
8) paragraph beginning "the only thing thst remained, that there was ever humans on this beach". I'm guessing you rushed this part, since it requires a little tweaking.
9) "sprouts of dirt"! I think you meant "spouts"!
10) paragraph beginning "I've had enough" changes tense unneccessarily and is a little confusing.
However, on the positive side, it is a beautifully crafted piece of text, with some lovely interspersed bits of description. I'm sure some proof-reading will allow you to correct any minor errors.
This really had me gripped and the sudden change from normality to disaster really worked for me.
Well done @SuperStallion!