Your description of the store is well constructed, including all the senses. The protagonist reminds me of Clary from the imortal instruments series. Make sure to go over the grammar of the chapter- help the flow. If you read over some of the longer sentences aloud it helps break them up or add punctuation. Overall a great start!
Make sure to go over the grammar of the chapter- help the flow. If you read over some of the longer sentences aloud it helps break them up or add punctuation.
Overall a great start!