I agree with Cohen, it needs a bit of a slower pace. I for one am missing the connection with your main characters. What are they feeling, thinking, I would like more development on that front and more connection with the father. Overall this is just right up my alley. You are a great find. Will continue to keep an eye on your work. Thank you for posting this.
I agree. When I wrote this story, it was still very plot based and I did not care much about building characters. I was more interested in laying down the elements of the mystery. It was 2011 and I just started taking a shot at writing a novel. "You are a great find" is a compliment I very much appreciate.
To make up for my lack of updates, may I point you to my other unfinished yet more successful stories such as Glory or Amori.
To make up for my lack of updates, may I point you to my other unfinished yet more successful stories such as Glory or Amori.