Not to sound like a grammar Nazi (If I was I would need to turn myself in), but lots of tense issues. It's one of my greatest weaknesses too. I've read a LOT worse and it wasn't anything that would stop me from reading more.
I would also recommend breaking some of the longer paragraphs down a bit. Long paragraphs can be a turn off to some readers. Like long sentences it can also be confusing to the reader. That's a style thing though. If you like it, there's nothing wrong with it.
I haven't watched Naruto in forever, so the characterization that Obsess pointed out didn't really stick out much to me. I agree with both of you that it's a matter of what you want to get out of the fanfic. The overall love story was well done, and I found it believable given the current personalities as you reimagined them.
I did like that putting them in a school setting closer to what is in modern japan when the original setting was a ninja school made the transition very smooth. Not a bad AU.
Oh, good idea about adding the translations at the end. I knew them, but those not into anime as much as I am would probably get lost a bit. ;)
I would also recommend breaking some of the longer paragraphs down a bit. Long paragraphs can be a turn off to some readers. Like long sentences it can also be confusing to the reader. That's a style thing though. If you like it, there's nothing wrong with it.
I haven't watched Naruto in forever, so the characterization that Obsess pointed out didn't really stick out much to me. I agree with both of you that it's a matter of what you want to get out of the fanfic. The overall love story was well done, and I found it believable given the current personalities as you reimagined them.
I did like that putting them in a school setting closer to what is in modern japan when the original setting was a ninja school made the transition very smooth. Not a bad AU.
Oh, good idea about adding the translations at the end. I knew them, but those not into anime as much as I am would probably get lost a bit. ;)