I like the story. It's really cute how she's going into battle for Pierce. However, I'm wondering what happened to the heart of the sea. I know Thalassa basically healed herself, so she probably has something to do with it, but I think it would be better to have a little more focus on it because it was introduced as something really important in the intro.

For future reference, it isn't "breathe-taking" but rather "breath-taking." Breathe is a verb while breath is a noun. Also, "fortnight" instead of "forth night." (I'm assuming you meant fortnight, which is two weeks.)