I quite like what you got here! :)
Some errors:
"The fragile beings escaped the black hole and now their destroying galaxies." In this case "their" should be "they're" or "they are."

"Men in tainted white clothing.....curious with the possibilities, they tested the limits of their kind." The sentence is a little choppy here. Try: "Men in tainted white clothing, curious with the possibilities, tested the limits of their kind."

"It was against the norm to touch a holy vessel such as a human being with such intent but to reach the stars......everything needs to fall apart." This sentence is a little unclear to me. Try: "It was against the norm to touch a holy vessel, such as a human being whose intent was to touch the stars. Everything needs to fall apart."