What you have here is an amazing work of art. You had me completely absorbed into the world of the protagonist and her gods. The narrative tells much like an ancient fairytale or legend and flows well. It reminds me a lot of Tolkien's work because of the style of writing and the vast world you have set up but it is much different than anything Tolkien wrote. As for more technical things such as grammar and punctuation, I didn't spot anything wrong or in need of fixing.