Okay!! Wow!! My mind was blown away!! Very impressive intro and impressive first chapter. It all seemed so real and vivid; and you combined different elements so well in it. Please do continue with it! And fight to reach the end! This has got me hooked! Pandora sounds more like a movie.
You just need to work a bit on your grammar and punctuation, I do advise a round of editing (friendly recommendation). Other than that, you are a good writer!
You just need to work a bit on your grammar and punctuation, I do advise a round of editing (friendly recommendation). Other than that, you are a good writer!