You have got a very clear idea of what you want to portray to the audience, your style is very digestible and easy to know what's going on! 

A suggestion, try to avoid laundry list character physical descriptions. Instead of saying 'he had auburn hair and green eyes', maybe talk about the bags under his green eyes from a lack of sleep or something, or a nervous habit where he runs his hands through his auburn hair even though it was neatly gelled. Make their descriptions to go beyond just color and type, make them a part of your character development. I hope that made sense!