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I think the description you gave us of the library was good, maybe you could give more on the people. I do find the beginning a bit random. What caused Protag to start thinking of that? Did her report mention drugs, or someone in the library mentioning depression? Also, the 'emerald eyes' bit... Maybe I've had too many requests on reviewing Romances, but I've seen this description a lot. Pretty overused in my opinion, try going with something else to describe the guy's greens, like teal-green or field green. Overall, this is a fine chapter.
9 年前
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alylalalyssa
crap I forgot the eyes. the emerald was just random (hard to explain. um some sort of word vomit? lol) . . . and I kept picturing him as a brown-eyed god. thank you! haha.
9 年前
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