This is a moving chapter..I loved how Elizabeth saw Mr. Pine Cone as her new friend, and snow-white and puffy Celie. I can picture her small, almond brown eyes :') Elizabeth is so adorable too! I especially loved how she saw the dusk sky as God painting the earth and the clouds as a gift for mankind during the day, I find it very beautiful:-) Paul's voice is cool and kind too, I like his character. The way Elizabeth addresses him as Mr. Paul is cute:) Elizabeth's short responses like 'It's nice' and her thoughts about her surroundings and the home town she loved are filled with raw yet deep emotions, which I loved. I also liked how Elizabeth's small movements and gazes are described, Ma is a nice name as well!(I think it fits the story well!) The Maple Leaf Rag sounds cool! I loved the part where Elizabeth feels sad about Mr. Paul sitting on Pa's chair, and her grandmother's moving and heartfelt words. I really loved this chapter!
The way you write your first chapter is very good. The tenor of your chapter makes me think of the author Joan Lowery Nixon. I don't know if you know her but you do have similarities.
You have some issues with your tenses, and subject-verb agreements here and there, though. However, it doesn't affect the entirety of the chapter.
One of the things I like too is that I definitely felt the mystery of the mansion exuding from this. I do wish that you gave more description of the mansion and its surroundings to give off that distinct, tangible feel to it. But, no worries, I surely felt the thrill.
Sorry for my comments, but I'm hoping to read your next chapter. Kudos!
I had forgotten about Joan Lowery Nixon, but she was more well known when I was younger. I was a little young for her stories when I was little. But I took a look at a sample of her writing and can definitely see what you mean. :) Thanks for reading and commenting :)
You have some issues with your tenses, and subject-verb agreements here and there, though. However, it doesn't affect the entirety of the chapter.
One of the things I like too is that I definitely felt the mystery of the mansion exuding from this. I do wish that you gave more description of the mansion and its surroundings to give off that distinct, tangible feel to it. But, no worries, I surely felt the thrill.
Sorry for my comments, but I'm hoping to read your next chapter. Kudos!