Not really my thing but I enjoy the premise. I'd like to see more depth of character, maybe flush them out with a few stated movements or actions they do while they speak. You've got good bones and a solid lead on where to go. I'd love to see more internal conflict rather than external violence though. Overall, the grammar is well done, the premise is good for what your trying to get across. Just work on making the world bloom.
I totally agree with you on those points. The sequel will get more in depth with character and development and more of self struggles and situations rather than just a bunch of violence.