Really interesting, you keep the action going and you don't get bogged down by too much detail which is needed for this genre. But you use a lot of ellipses (...) which can be a little distracting to the flow of your writing. I'll give some editing suggestions, you don't have to use them but they might give you some ideas for the mechanics of your writing.
@Zero Dantez, dont apologize, its not a big deal if you think it fits your writing style. I was just giving you my opinion as a reader. I hope my suggestions were a little inspiring at least! Good luck and keep on going!
Thanks for the comment friend. I agree that I probably use them far too often in the majority of my works. My primary reason for them has always been to show characters pausing, either just to pause, or to give the idea that they are stopping in order to think up what they're going to say next or to simply ponder on something mid-sentence.
My influence for this is based on interactions with a variety of people in person who all tend to pause just a slight bit, some more than others; it seems almost like a human thing to do when talking. A fair number of books I read and shows I watch tend to skip over this factor which I find unfortunate. To me, I think the pauses and other quirks best capture human dialogue and give a bit more meaning.
They aren't the only dialogue quirks I use in excess either as you'll notice. I believe in the next chapter there are plenty of examples of loud characters yelling expressed in all caps with plenty of exclamation marks. In some projects I also have some characters use slurred speech of some sort. Usually I don't think too much of the ellipses as, more often than not, they are mixed in with other quirks and/or the pacing is on the slow side which in turn allows me to slow the dialogue.
I apologize if this is an issue while reading or if it is a complete turn off; but I will definitely take your opinion into consideration going forward.
My influence for this is based on interactions with a variety of people in person who all tend to pause just a slight bit, some more than others; it seems almost like a human thing to do when talking. A fair number of books I read and shows I watch tend to skip over this factor which I find unfortunate. To me, I think the pauses and other quirks best capture human dialogue and give a bit more meaning.
They aren't the only dialogue quirks I use in excess either as you'll notice. I believe in the next chapter there are plenty of examples of loud characters yelling expressed in all caps with plenty of exclamation marks. In some projects I also have some characters use slurred speech of some sort. Usually I don't think too much of the ellipses as, more often than not, they are mixed in with other quirks and/or the pacing is on the slow side which in turn allows me to slow the dialogue.
I apologize if this is an issue while reading or if it is a complete turn off; but I will definitely take your opinion into consideration going forward.