Hi SLVIA SUTTON again! I really like the banter that happens with Liam thinking about Riley, and then Olivia thinks he was thinking about her. That was awesome because so many people can relate to that sort of thing. Who hasn't had that happen to them, just in different context of course. However, I think it'd be even better if you really emphasized both characters but especially Liam's inner thoughts, even though we can glean it. Just to make his character more specific, and how it might contradict his actual words and actions. That'll spice it up! Also, create a connection between the first bar scene and the next with Liam and Olivia, like a transition. And most importantly, include what Liam thinks of Riley, and later include what Riley thinks of both Liam and Drake.
Best wishes, sasha delphine