Kristen's family seems pretty materialistic and she's definitely being torn because no one listens to her even though she said she didn't wanna marry him. I could tell he's gonna be a pain in the arse already oh my goodness... >_< There's the slight issue with the technicalities too but I think mentioning it once is enough. Another thing, I'm not sure if you intended the characters to be very cheery or something, but perhaps you would want to lessen down the excitement to a certain degree on the dialogue? :o I just think that putting an exclamation mark on almost every dialogue conversation might lose the effect of their conversation. That's just my opinion, though. I think this is an interesting piece and I'm curious to know what would happen between them. Keep it up :)
There's the slight issue with the technicalities too but I think mentioning it once is enough. Another thing, I'm not sure if you intended the characters to be very cheery or something, but perhaps you would want to lessen down the excitement to a certain degree on the dialogue? :o I just think that putting an exclamation mark on almost every dialogue conversation might lose the effect of their conversation. That's just my opinion, though. I think this is an interesting piece and I'm curious to know what would happen between them. Keep it up :)