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Comments - 戰鬥場面 | Penana
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Comments - 戰鬥場面
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七日夏
寫實血腥的打鬥，但總感覺描述有點太過死板，講的更清晰一點就是
視角卡死在一個點，打鬥的緊張跟刺激感被太過冷靜的描述給沖淡，建議可以從男孩和男人的視角著手

P.S.病嬌大好
9 years agoReply
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