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Comments - 《蝶殺的連鎖》短篇小說創作比賽 | Penana
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Comments - 《蝶殺的連鎖》短篇小說創作比賽
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雨田明
評語：
數十萬的整形手術效果完美，並解決了所有人生問題，這情節需要一定的說服力。另外要注意故事節奏，現在略嫌慢了一點，可多著墨描寫關於角色、事件、懸念等的有趣細節，流於交代的說明情節可考慮刪減。
7 years agoReply
錄綾．RokuAya
感謝評論，我會努力去改進的。
7 years agoReply
錄綾．RokuAya
感謝小熊！ww
7 years agoReply
Penana小熊
100 Pena 幣已經派送給你哦！
7 years agoReply
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