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Comments - 寫作·魷魚遊戲（試辦）［已結算］ | Penana
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Comments - 寫作·魷魚遊戲（試辦）［已結算］
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kikii
評語來了！一副完成度不低的作品，文章也將「朋友」這個主題發揮到了極致。我看到你埋好了伏筆，也順利引出了反轉，很不錯哦。誇一下人物設計，無論是「我」夕顏，還是阿玲，都設計的很合情合理，動機性格等在這麼短的字數很好地展現出來了。
以下是我的個人建議，僅供參考。

第一：角色對話常常會在「：」這個符號出現後再跳一行才是對話。好幾位老師都是這樣。

第二：「信你一回」是心理描寫嗎？如果是的話，依照文章風格，應該不用使用「“”」，畢竟其他心理描寫好像都沒有使用「“”」。

最後，感謝落某九大大帶來的作品~
7 months agoReply
落某九
好的 看来还是标点符号运用错的问题w 感谢评文！提前祝kikii圣诞快乐🎄
7 months agoReply
kikii
@落某九, 也預祝你聖誕快樂！
7 months agoReply
落某九
如违规了请告诉我，我再改。
7 months agoReply
落某九
把文章硬生生写成副本我也是没谁的了哈（崩溃大叫）
7 months agoReply
kikii
沒有違規，不用改哦。寫成副本很獨特啊！
7 months agoReply
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