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Comments - 《夏日短篇連載挑戰》第二回：承接篇 | Penana
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Comments - 《夏日短篇連載挑戰》第二回：承接篇
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十三郎(多媒體廢作人)
太多公式上去表達同一種形態，其實五個人物也有自己的特色，可以引起讀者的興趣，然後一次重點去描述就足夠。但這篇內容用了大篇幅的手法去代表這種意識，另故事沒有繼續前進。(而報告的部份更加似是無關的內容)

假如這是長篇故事，有數萬字的內容，這是不錯的手法，但以現在的情況，你的故事已經去了一半，無論是人物關係或是故事發展也只停留在起點，感覺會頭重尾輕。
5 years agoReply
幻常
謝謝你的意見！
5 years agoReply
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