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Comments - 我與它 | Penana
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Comments - 我與它
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晴空下的雨
我覺得前半段的試探還有出現一點浪漫氛圍，但後面對話來回拉扯太多次，又都是那種試探的話語，每句話可能都有表裡兩層意思或暗示，變成節奏感突然緊湊，讀起來很吃力，再多一點對話可能精神就要渙散.....

也因為這樣導致浪漫氛圍都沒有了(當然這只是原因之一，不是全部)，因為拿掉節奏問題，後半段確實也不夠浪漫。
6 months agoReply
凶讀
YES，我修了幾次。

一直覺得這篇表現很差，尤其是後半段，因為從這篇開始我要增加到一千字，很明顯復健的級數上升太快，我後半段想不到要寫什麼，為了湊字數就讓質量下降了。

但如果把劇情斷在一半，是好了點，字數卻又不夠，希望接下來的復健旅程可以讓我創作肌肉的感覺回來。
6 months agoReply
晴空下的雨
@凶讀,加油！
6 months agoReply
凶讀
@晴空下的雨,希望今天的題目不要太難發揮
6 months agoReply
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