Once again, you handled Logan's character well. It makes the reader unable to fully decide what kind of person Logan is. Is he an uncaring, cold person who's only concerned with the agreement? Does he have a caring side, despite his generally distant demeanor? Is how he's speaking during this outing just part of the act? Fantastic story-telling. You've managed to keep me invested so far.
I do need to point out the dialog exchange toward the end of the chapter. You need to rewrite this with proper dialog tags ('character said', 'character asked'). Writing the character's name with a colon, followed by the dialog makes your writing come off a bit weak. I would provide a suggested edit, but in order to make it flow naturally, I would have to take some creative liberties with descriptions. It's best if I leave that to you as you're the author.
@Saurna, Sorry, I wrote all of these earlier in the day during a binge reading session. I think this was the last comment I made during that time, so from here on out I'll focus more on the content rather than the writing.
I do need to point out the dialog exchange toward the end of the chapter. You need to rewrite this with proper dialog tags ('character said', 'character asked'). Writing the character's name with a colon, followed by the dialog makes your writing come off a bit weak. I would provide a suggested edit, but in order to make it flow naturally, I would have to take some creative liberties with descriptions. It's best if I leave that to you as you're the author.
Indeed. It was another shortcut to save word count. Thanks for bringing it up.