/comment.php?chapter=5&id=188526
Comments - 淘文集書評申請第一期 | Penana
arrow_back
Comments - 淘文集書評申請第一期
info_outline
format_color_text
toc
comment 0
exposure_plus_1
coins
Search stories, writers or societies
Show More Tags
Continue ReadingClear All
More
What Others Are ReadingRefresh
See more results for ""
X
Never miss what's happening on Penana!
Turn on notifications
Later
Login with Facebook or Sign up/Login to leave a comment.
發夢家
這本書的敘事有些混亂，過去那一章與其它的章節銜接不順暢。我會建議寫作新手先嘗試用順敘的方式寫作，這樣故事的脈絡會比較清晰。

另外，內容有點離地，打個比喻就像是月入1000的工人住獨立屋，言情小說男主角多金很正常，但他剛18歲就就有能力跟女朋友租屋住而且長輩完全不管他就很不正常。雖然故事中沒有描寫男主角的父母，但從目前的內容看他跟自己的阿姨和堂弟感情還是不錯的。
10 months agoReply
思靜
感謝建議！
10 months agoReply
Back to Story
×
×
Write down what you like about the story
×
Reading Theme:

Font Size:

Line Spacing:

Paragraph Spacing:

Load the next issue automatically


Reset to default

X
×
x
Proceed

x
Before You Publish
Please ensure your story does not contain illegal, hateful, inciting, or violence-promoting content, or any infringing, plagiarized, or spam material, and that it complies with Penana’s Terms of Use.
Penana reserves the right to remove any content that violates these rules or causes legal or community risk, and to suspend or terminate related accounts.
arrow_back
×

Select a reason:

×

Install this webapp for easier offline reading: tap and then Add to home screen.