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I know this is an excerpt but Im still a tad confused on whats going on in this situation. I understand the MC seems to be working somewhere but thats kinda all I grasped at this momwnt. i will reread it though to see if I grasp it better in the second go.
One minor thing is that I foubd some paragraphs a bit wordier than necessary.
Other than that, keep up the good work
-Tenshi