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Comments - 故事創作 | Penana
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Comments - 故事創作
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冷水
文筆帶給別人一種成熟的感覺，故事講述也算完整、小細節也有在注意。不過中間的進度好像有點太快了，在他說「我不喜歡妳。」之前，可以再多寫一些相處的點點、這樣在表達出自己的受傷時會更能夠讓讀者感同身受。
 
十分感謝你帶來的作品，如果有什麼想說的也歡迎到留言版上留言給我喔！
8 years agoReply
顏冰芸
謝謝提醒
8 years agoReply
冷水
@蔡貓貓,^_^
8 years agoReply
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