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Comments - 《雲端車手駕訓班》 | Penana
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Comments - 《雲端車手駕訓班》
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倒提壺
在描述中間是第一人稱的時候，是不是省略一部分的「我」可以讓視角更自然一點給讀者代入？
女角本來就有要引誘主角的意思嗎？感覺她情緒轉折有點快。

男性的性器在結合時的描述，可以考慮多一點被包覆之類的體感。
畢竟是要讓人想尻，引發聯想跟體感描述引導增加一些會感覺有差。
3 years agoReply
阿鏡
真是貼心小棉襖耶妳😻
3 years agoReply
泗楓
揪甘心
3 years agoReply
魔幻蕈菇
@阿鏡 , @Tecchan
如果跟我一樣沒巴哈帳號可以看蕉台連結

https://www.penana.com/article/734372
3 years agoReply
泗楓
抱歉抱歉  我趕緊改一下
3 years agoReply
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