This was great a.t.e.! Loved the imagery in this. You had some really fantastic descriptions. The part about the monkey was my favorite. Very creepy, and a cool concept about it being a symbol of silence in dreams (I'm assuming that's a real interpretation?). There's a lot here that I think could translate well in audio.

There are a couple of things I ran into, though. The biggest thing is that there were some sentences that threw me off, requiring me to read them a couple of times to understand what was being said. I would recommend reading the story aloud, or use a text-to-speech program (plenty of free ones online), and try to polish the flow a bit more.

I also noticed some tense mix ups where you would randomly switch to present tense when you were primarily writing in the past tense. This one might be a bit tricky because I realize the character is not only describing a past experience, but also talking to the fictional host in the present.

Don't let these critiques get you down, though. Like I said, this was a really great story, and a fun read. 🙂

Yo, I have chills...