Yikes, kiddo, the confusion is real! I did not know about religious abuse; I only know that some people misunderstand and misinterpret the word.
Yeah, we parents are seriously flawed and a danger to our kids. I apologise on behalf of your parents. They don't know what they're doing, and it's really hurting you.A few things to address, but first things first: God's timing and man's timing are never the same thing. A day for God is several lifetimes for man. The Psalms say to wait on the Lord (Psalms 27:14).
But never, EVER, pray for patience. It's a rule passed down in my fam. Why? How do you build patience? Through trials and tribulations. You're practically asking God to send trouble your way. Pray for strength to get through your circumstances.
People misunderstand 'Fear of the Lord.' It does not literally mean FEAR him because he's going to get you when you do something wrong. It means to love, trust, and revere him. When you fear the Lord, you have faith that he is stronger than your circumstances. Nothing else should move or shake you. Consider this: a violent dog is chasing after you, but you are walking your pet lion. Would you still be afraid of the dog?
You repent because you understand what you've done wrong and are sorry for it. Repenting = Apologizing. We're not perfect; we will make mistakes. If you give in to your temptations, your conscience will remind you of what you did. That's why we should pray "Our Father" every day and reflect on the meaning behind the lines. If God gave up on us, there'd be no reason to keep us waiting for hell. You can always turnaround, repent, or make a change as long as you are alive. There are people who have done FAR worse than you, and he did not give up on them. 'Don't give up on God, and he won't give up on you'. (I mean, look at the Israelites in the Bible; he still hasn't given up on them after 3k+ years.) Besides, when you are disrespectful or offend someone, don't you also apologize? (Makes you feel bad sometimes too, doesn't it?)
Depression is a spiritual illness that takes root in the mind and manifests as a "physical" illness. I've noticed a lot of Asians and Asian descendants seem to have hereditary depression. It's a spirit of depression that is passed on, and we have to ask God to break it and deliver us. (I was suicidal at 6 years old. The thoughts surface sometimes, but you have to pray and actively think against them). Yes, you have to pray, but at the same time, he also gave man science and medicine. God helps those who help themselves. And if he doesn't show up directly, he will send someone. (https://firefightersupport.org/the-drowning-man/).
Fun fact: Therapy is the scientific, long, and drawn-out way of applying lessons from the Bible that many do not understand. This, I observed from therapy sessions, and reading psychology books and studies. (The psalms and proverbs are good books to keep reading/listening)
Science and Christianity go hand in hand, a fact many Christians refuse to acknowledge. Science, seeks to explain and break down the actions of God into ways we can comprehend so we understand just how powerful and great he is. If anything, science should boost our faith the more we learn.
Don't measure your encounter with God by someone else's. We each have our own way of finding him and our own experiences with him. We don't all get the same treatment because we are not all made the same way. Some of us suffer more/longer because he has given us a stronger gift or higher calling (sometimes too because we keep missing his direction). Ask him for your own encounter, your own experience; ask him to show himself to you.
Faith is not a one-time achievement. It's an everyday struggle. Yes, you will feel like losing faith or giving up because nothing makes sense, nothing works, and things are better for others. Faith is diligently choosing to believe and trust God every day, even when nothing happens. Waiting on God is a real test sometimes. And sometimes he's actually waiting on you to take a step first.
Your parents are kidding themselves. They have a problem and won't address it. Pretending, does not make the problem disappear, nor does it fix it. You are not to blame for your parents' immature actions. If in their anger they blame you, it is only themselves they are angry at, and they're taking it out on you (you're easier to blame, sorry). Make note of the things they do wrong so that you don't do the same. (Also, don't have kids until you're 30!)I don't believe true love can exist between two people. Between you and God, yes (he knows you completely; it is easier to be 100% with him than with another person). But I think the most we can see between humans is love and a deep respect for one another.
It's good to get stuff off your chest. You can also try therapeutic letter writing. Get all your emotions out on paper—every bad thing you want to say, every swear word on the tip of your tongue—and let them out on the paper (don't show them). Keep it in a safe place and revisit it from time to time. It'll come in handy if you do get into therapy.
For some free therapy, you can get some vids on the tube. Anna Akana (light therapy that provokes thought) and Patrick Teahan LICSW (more in-depth therapy).
damn...I can't thank you enough for all of this. You're so right. And thank you for the "Yes, you have to pray, but at the same time, he also gave man science and medicine." I agree with that; I hope my mom would see the same way someday.
You gave me a lot of hope and motivation to continue praying. I really appreciate that.
And I will take your advice to rant my feelings on paper. I used to but quit because I wasn't very consistent. But I realize now that I have so much to say and it'd be so amazing to write them down somewhere.
I will check those channels out on YouTube! Thank you so much, Saurna.
@Julia Hope, You're welcome. Sadly moms tend to be too stuck in their ways to see another point of view. Especially if it's their child's (They tend to still see us as kids even when we grow up).
I'm glad I was able to offer some help and that you will continue praying.
Yes, get those feelings out or they'll stay and fester. It doesn't have to be everyday, but definitely when you feel overwhelmed.
@Mira, hmm maybe. I think I've looked into that before, just haven't found too many good ones. Or they cost money. not sure, but I'll look into it more.
Yeah, we parents are seriously flawed and a danger to our kids. I apologise on behalf of your parents. They don't know what they're doing, and it's really hurting you.A few things to address, but first things first: God's timing and man's timing are never the same thing. A day for God is several lifetimes for man. The Psalms say to wait on the Lord (Psalms 27:14).
But never, EVER, pray for patience. It's a rule passed down in my fam. Why? How do you build patience? Through trials and tribulations. You're practically asking God to send trouble your way. Pray for strength to get through your circumstances.
People misunderstand 'Fear of the Lord.' It does not literally mean FEAR him because he's going to get you when you do something wrong. It means to love, trust, and revere him. When you fear the Lord, you have faith that he is stronger than your circumstances. Nothing else should move or shake you. Consider this: a violent dog is chasing after you, but you are walking your pet lion. Would you still be afraid of the dog?
You repent because you understand what you've done wrong and are sorry for it. Repenting = Apologizing. We're not perfect; we will make mistakes. If you give in to your temptations, your conscience will remind you of what you did. That's why we should pray "Our Father" every day and reflect on the meaning behind the lines. If God gave up on us, there'd be no reason to keep us waiting for hell. You can always turnaround, repent, or make a change as long as you are alive. There are people who have done FAR worse than you, and he did not give up on them. 'Don't give up on God, and he won't give up on you'. (I mean, look at the Israelites in the Bible; he still hasn't given up on them after 3k+ years.)
Besides, when you are disrespectful or offend someone, don't you also apologize? (Makes you feel bad sometimes too, doesn't it?)
Depression is a spiritual illness that takes root in the mind and manifests as a "physical" illness. I've noticed a lot of Asians and Asian descendants seem to have hereditary depression. It's a spirit of depression that is passed on, and we have to ask God to break it and deliver us. (I was suicidal at 6 years old. The thoughts surface sometimes, but you have to pray and actively think against them). Yes, you have to pray, but at the same time, he also gave man science and medicine. God helps those who help themselves. And if he doesn't show up directly, he will send someone. (https://firefightersupport.org/the-drowning-man/).
Fun fact: Therapy is the scientific, long, and drawn-out way of applying lessons from the Bible that many do not understand. This, I observed from therapy sessions, and reading psychology books and studies. (The psalms and proverbs are good books to keep reading/listening)
Science and Christianity go hand in hand, a fact many Christians refuse to acknowledge. Science, seeks to explain and break down the actions of God into ways we can comprehend so we understand just how powerful and great he is. If anything, science should boost our faith the more we learn.
Don't measure your encounter with God by someone else's. We each have our own way of finding him and our own experiences with him. We don't all get the same treatment because we are not all made the same way. Some of us suffer more/longer because he has given us a stronger gift or higher calling (sometimes too because we keep missing his direction). Ask him for your own encounter, your own experience; ask him to show himself to you.
Faith is not a one-time achievement. It's an everyday struggle. Yes, you will feel like losing faith or giving up because nothing makes sense, nothing works, and things are better for others. Faith is diligently choosing to believe and trust God every day, even when nothing happens. Waiting on God is a real test sometimes. And sometimes he's actually waiting on you to take a step first.
Your parents are kidding themselves. They have a problem and won't address it. Pretending, does not make the problem disappear, nor does it fix it. You are not to blame for your parents' immature actions. If in their anger they blame you, it is only themselves they are angry at, and they're taking it out on you (you're easier to blame, sorry). Make note of the things they do wrong so that you don't do the same. (Also, don't have kids until you're 30!)I don't believe true love can exist between two people. Between you and God, yes (he knows you completely; it is easier to be 100% with him than with another person). But I think the most we can see between humans is love and a deep respect for one another.
It's good to get stuff off your chest. You can also try therapeutic letter writing. Get all your emotions out on paper—every bad thing you want to say, every swear word on the tip of your tongue—and let them out on the paper (don't show them). Keep it in a safe place and revisit it from time to time. It'll come in handy if you do get into therapy.
For some free therapy, you can get some vids on the tube. Anna Akana (light therapy that provokes thought) and Patrick Teahan LICSW (more in-depth therapy).
You gave me a lot of hope and motivation to continue praying. I really appreciate that.
And I will take your advice to rant my feelings on paper. I used to but quit because I wasn't very consistent. But I realize now that I have so much to say and it'd be so amazing to write them down somewhere.
I will check those channels out on YouTube! Thank you so much, Saurna.
I'm glad I was able to offer some help and that you will continue praying.
Yes, get those feelings out or they'll stay and fester. It doesn't have to be everyday, but definitely when you feel overwhelmed.
No problem.