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Comments - 不專業看稿（微狠評） | Penana
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Comments - 不專業看稿（微狠評）
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森月日下
题材可以，简介就把设定给抛出来是可以的，但你的剧情走向不对，一看就是没大纲，想到哪写到哪，五章没有一个字是吸引到我的，为何会这样？就是没有开篇的钩子，你要塑造一个好的开头，才会有读者追读。

时间地点＞凸显主角＞为机冲突＞解决问题＞剧情延伸

这就是一个标准的第一章，现在都是拼黄金前五百字了，你这题材可以，但需要一个完整的大纲。
1 year agoReply
Ander Wang
謝謝老師的評論，很明確的把我的問題點出來了，真的很謝謝您，我會再改進！希望日後有緣還能拿新作品給老師評價！
1 year agoReply
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