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Comments - 銀海E-0 ～在這個生得計畫、死得隨機的世界，我成了最大意外～ | Penana
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Comments - 銀海E-0 ～在這個生得計畫、死得隨機的世界，我成了最大意外～
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AnDY
寫作方式好多斷句
但翻了你寫的其他作品卻又還好
有點好奇是刻意想這樣處理嗎
3 weeks agoReply
不知餘
這是刻意刪減敘述等，想對應這科幻主題的冷硬白⋯看來抓得比例還不夠好。若有機會看到後面，個人覺得最後的五星上將、失控地表、人類高層、真心相伴即可道出自己所想表達的制度，但這幾章幾乎和主角無關，感覺是雙軌制，讓我到現在都還想不到解法，讓讀者可以比較容易感受到主角的存在。所以後續有關星辰大海的世界就都暫緩了。開始寫紅袖詔—練習更細緻的身體描述。感謝留言支持—謝謝
3 weeks agoReply
AnDY
原來如此～好的我繼續看
3 weeks agoReply
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