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I like this one quite a lot. It was very suspenseful. I felt genuine dread every time she was grabbed in her escape attempt. It was good. The only thing I would have done differently is make the character more childlike. She was kidnapped at 6 and was for the most part completely isolated. So even though she had books she would still probably think like a 6 year old. I think that would have made it more disturbing (If disturbing is something you intended in this story) Her thinking and explaining stuff to the viewer as if she were a 6 year old despite being 16 would really go to show how stunted she is from being trapped for 10 years of her crucial development.
1 year agoReply
Phoenix_Wolf
In my mind she’s been forced to grow up as a 6 year old wouldn’t be able to come up with a plan of escape. I feel like she would have learned from the books and things that happened in her daily life.
1 year agoReply
@Phoenix_Wolf, That may be true. She may have read of something similar happening in the books and internalised it in her mind. But with no interaction with her parents or girls her age that would really stunt her. No teenage girl sleepovers. No crushes on boys. And barely any memory of your parents. She's probably be thinking and doing what she already knows. Coloring pictures of her favourite things and going off topic to say she's "A big girl" Because she's watched all the furniture in the container get gradually smaller as she's grown. Its just an idea that I think would add to the story more. Its still good tho. And I think you have a really good chance at winning this.
1 year agoReply
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