You really potrayed the characters emotions well especially with being stuck in an elevator, the extra stress of that can lead you to saying things you don't mean or will regret.
What an interesting take. I liked it a lot. Compared to how difficult it can be to follow dialogue stories, it was relatively easy to follow.
I do have to say that if you used quotations more consistently, you wouldn’t have had to use the names as much as you did. Not saying it was terrible, but quoation marks would’ve made the reader feel more comfortable in what they are reading. While reading this, if it wasn’t for your consistent use of names to see who was who, I feel like there would’ve been multiple times I’d mix up the characters.
All in all, love the story (I’m a child of chaos, sue me) and hope to see more work.
Thanks! I did think that my way of doing the quotation marks made sense, but apparently that was just in my head - I'll change it in future :) thanks for reading it
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Other than that...
You really potrayed the characters emotions well especially with being stuck in an elevator, the extra stress of that can lead you to saying things you don't mean or will regret.
This was really good :)
I do have to say that if you used quotations more consistently, you wouldn’t have had to use the names as much as you did. Not saying it was terrible, but quoation marks would’ve made the reader feel more comfortable in what they are reading. While reading this, if it wasn’t for your consistent use of names to see who was who, I feel like there would’ve been multiple times I’d mix up the characters.
All in all, love the story (I’m a child of chaos, sue me) and hope to see more work.