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Crazy as it sounds, although some people would say security would act more professional, we really don't. Other than maybe the Site Supervisor and Head of Security, I don't think there's a single one of my coworkers who follow proper radio etiquette. I try sometimes but mostly we're only using our radios when employees of the facility I work at are contacting us for something, and they definitely never use proper radio etiquette. If we're lucky, we may get a 10-04, and that's it.
Rob actually reminds me of one my coworkers as well. He was originally retired and came out of retirement just so he could pay off his mortgage. Rob's dialogue matches how I believe my coworker would respond. He'd sooner go back into retirement than stick around to deal with something like that.
The only detail that I would point out is that if they're communicating by two-way radios, it would be impossible to interrupt someone. Until you let go of the talk button, no one else can get on the radio to speak. That's why good radio etiquette encourages short, concise messages, and bosses get angry when people chit chat on the radio. Regardless, that's just a minor issue.
Overall, this was really fun to read because I work in security. Like I said, I wished there had been more because I was getting into it. Great work, Aserilla1! π
As for the radio interruption? I was going for these old, cheep, patchwork radios that burst into static and cut you off if someone else tried to speak when you did. That always happened with these cheep walky talkies I used to have as a kid. I thought I'd use that, but my melting brain couldn't figure out how to word it so I got this.
I'm a little burnt out after getting abysmal sleep this week. But I'm glad you liked it!
I do plan to make this part of the Eclipse Project's story when I start working on that again.
A while back I had a bit of writer's block and had trouble writing something that fit a contest's prompt and the guy judging tore me apart in the comments. It took a major chunk out of my confidence as a writer & I stopped writing for a while. And I honestly thought of quitting this site.I was so sure I did a crap job on this and that someone would say so, I wasn't expecting much. But you surprised me by actually liking it. It makes me so happy that someone actually likes my writing. Your comments really helped boost my self esteem and make me wanna keep writing. Dude, you totally give me proud dad vibes. Thanks.
On that note, don't ever let other people be the ones that discourage you from doing what you love. I definitely see potential in your writing, and I think if you keep at it, you'll go far. If it makes you feel better, the first online comment I ever received years ago was "imagine a swimming pool filled with jello. Now imagine swimming from one side to the other, and then back again. That's what reading this felt like". Needless to say, the same thing happened to me that happened to you. Thankfully, I eventually pulled myself out of it and got back to writing. I made a strong effort to practice and study the craft to the best of my ability. I'm nowhere near where I want to be, but I'm leagues beyond what I was. If you do that, really pursue bettering your skills, I promise it will pay off. Just don't give up and keep on writing. :)
However, if you ever feel yourself struggling because you've lost confidence, you just come to me. As I tell the other writers I'm friends with on here: my inbox is always open to you. :)
I do try to stay positive and not let negative comments get under my skin. But it can really take the wind out of your sails. If I do start to struggle again I will absolutely message you. I very much enjoy talking to you. People like you are the reason amateurs like me keep trying.
Your support means a lot. I do hope I run into more people like you. I can't help, but get excited when I see your comments. Dude, you absolutely make my day.
I can't remember if I've already told you about this or not. It's something I like to share with the friends I make on here. If I have already shown you this before, I apologize. It's the writing tutorials that I write by, and have been the biggest contributors to improving my writing. I'm gonna post a link below to this guy's YouTube channel. When you can find some time, definitely go through his videos on writing advice. Trust me, they're worth it. I hope they help you as much as they have helped me. :)
https://www.youtube.com/user/NovelistJerryJenkins