Oh Regina's so caring For Levin but if you seek from Nicholae's eyes, then he is definitely right. I mean, why endanger everyone to save one? In that way, no one could be saved. Right? And probably Regina's brave and maybe caring for the one's who had benefited before, but she's a little sentimental, and I guess they shouldn't have fought. One of them must have taken Levon to the clinic and the others would have guarded the surroundings. Well Jay your story is flowing fresh like a river. Keep up the good work.
And Regina I must say she needs to use her brain instead of heart.
I loved writing the dynamic between Regina and David. They both mean well but are polar opposites. You're definitely right that they should have had someone stand guard, but - as the title of the chapter suggests - they are very inexperienced. I really wanted to explore that aspect with this group. They're not superheroes or highly trained/skilled soldiers. They're just normal people who got caught up in something dangerous.
I really appreciate the feedback you've given me so far. Looking forward to your thoughts on the rest of the chapters. :)
I'm convinced David has some backstory as to why he's a jerk... Honestly, why am I like this? The book says he's a jerk, so he's a jerk. Why is it so hard for me to understand??
@Cheeto, Exactly! Delivery is everything. If you set people off into defense mode, it doesn't matter how right you are, no one's going to listen to you, or like you for that matter.
The first was listening to the "Virtual Barbershop" binaural audio experience on YouTube. You can listen to it here: ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUDTlvagjJA ).
It's what introduced me to the fact that you could make 3d audio stories.
The second was finding a YouTube channel run by a man who was blind at birth. His content primarily discussed what life was like for someone who was blind, but there was one video he did that stuck out to me. He was working with another YouTuber who was considered legally blind. They were discussing ways video creators could cater more to the visually impaired by providing descriptive audio descriptions of what was being shown in video. This sparked an idea in me.
Audiobooks would probably be the prime source of multimedia entertainment for someone who couldn't see, right? What if I created a cinematic, audio-movie experience utilizing 3d technology? From there, I had my mission.
Hey, I have a question! May I ask what inspired you to create this book? I mean, this kind of thing, like worlds combining, bridging, it's pretty cool and very interesting! I wonder what sparked that idea?
So, there's a really long answer for this, and it will answer your second question about how the characters came about as well. I'll try to condense it as best as I can. A lot of factors played into it, and this is a story that has transformed many times over the course of years.
It first started when I was around 12 years old. I was trying to immortalize a play-pretend game my sister and I used to play when we were kids. It was about two kids who got teleported to a different world and got caught up in a war that was taking place there. Fun fact, those two kids were Jay and Lina, who used to be the main characters. Back then, I was stealing a lot of ideas from Chronicles of Narnia, what with there being talking animals (including a beaver called Chopper). I still have that version of the story, complete with the original illustrations. You can see a sample of it on my Instagram here: ( https://www.instagram.com/p/CO5jwfenisb/?hl=en ).
As I grew up, my writing would keep maturing, and I wanted to find a better, more interesting way to tell the story. It went through many changes. Jake Soloman used to be JS, who then became Jason Stevenson, who then became Jake Soloman. Nicolae used to be based on a friend of mine from elementary school named Nick, and originally he used to have spiky blond hair (much like Cloud from Final Fantasy Seven). Regina had been around since the beginning too but hasn't actually changed much, save for she had pink hair instead of red, and her personality has been improved. The rest of the cast came about in the version of this story before the one it is now.
Originally, the group was going to be a military group sent onto a newly discovered world to inspect whether it was habitable, but I canned it because I just wasn't happy with that direction. In all versions, the main plot point was about characters being transported to another world, but in every version I came up with, I just felt like something was missing. I wanted there to be magic, monsters, and war, but I was failing to come up with a proper explanation for all of those elements being there in a way that made sense. That's when I finally had a eureka moment.
A world created by deities long since gone that used the world as a bridge to travel between all worlds. In its decay from abandonment, it starts to lash out and pull items, people, and places from other worlds and traps them inside its own confines. I finally had my explanation for everything. It was also during this time that I had been introduced to 3d audio, and putting the two things together, here we are. A sci-fi fantasy, with elements of horror, grounded in reality. What I have always wanted to write.
Thanks for the questions. I enjoyed answering them, and if you have any more, I will be more than happy to answer.
@Jay Ellis, This is absolutely wonderful and heart-touching at the same time. A little game a sister and a brother played turned into a beautiful fantasy! And at an age like 12 years old, that's a brilliant mind you have! I'll make sure to thoroughly read what you've posted on Instagram but from what I've glanced at, the illustrations are so so adorable and it gives a sense of innocence and wonder at the same time. This makes me feel happy and nostalgic for some reason. Unfortunately my brother and I do not share that many precious memories or games. . . . But if I ever grasp at something, even if that something is little, I'm inspired to create something out of it like you have! Also, nice job on the cover! Looks fantastic!
@Esfandiar C. Hale, Please don't actually try to read it. It is embarrassingly bad. XD I mean, I can't stop you if you do, but just know that you've been warned. I did not have a good grasp on grammar or proper descriptive writing. It is very cringe, but it is a treasured memory of mine. I have managed to preserve almost every version of this story (save for the ones that got lost due to corrupted or lost files). I was going to upload all of the versions at one point, but a lot of it was handwritten, and Penana doesn't work well with uploaded pictures.
@Jay Ellis, Now I'm definitely gonna read it and trust me, it's not gonna be cringe. I mean, compared to my ones. . . . Yeah my ones have their own god level of cringe. Good luck with beating me on that haha!
@Esfandiar C. Hale, Oh, trust me. I think I will beat you on the cringe level. I don't know if the page is posted on there or not, but there was one point where I broke off from the action and started over-explaining backstory that didn't need to be explained, and ended it with something dumb like: "Now you know why he did the thing he did the way he did". XD
I did not have a good grasp on the concept of "show, don't tell". Granted, at that time, I had never been taught that.
@Jay Ellis, "Now you know why he did the thing he did the way he did" I cannot comprehend how you call this dumb. If this is how you've written you're book, I'd give money to read it. Also, you beating me in cringe level? Keep dreaming :)
Also, I still have a problem with the 'show, dont tell' thing. Its kinda hard for me -_-
@Esfandiar C. Hale, Okay, let's settle this. This isn't the worst example, but here you go:
"I have my own ways," JS said. Then all of a sudden he whirled his sword at Kankon, with a powerful blow. Kankon blocked it, but JS kept striking at him, like in video games when you do a combo attack. Blow after blow, JS kept slashing at Kankon, but Kankon was a good sword fighter for he was a pirate and that's what pirates do best and so he kept blocking JS's strikes, but he was also getting pushed back towards the boulder in which he had been sleeping at.
That's verbatim how I wrote it. My grammar checker went berserk when I put that in. Writing that again made me feel dirty. XD
@Jay Ellis, You honestly thought that's enough to beat me? I will end your entire career Ellis. Read this!
The hero whirled the villain around to face him. Elijah took a good look
at him. Kasper’s black hair. What would it feel like if he combed his hand
through it? Kasper’s light-blue eyes. He could stare at them all day.
Kasper’s golden mask. That damned thing. He wants to burn it so he
could see that handsome face clearly. Kasper’s elegant, pianist hands
pinned to the wall on either side of his head. He wishes those fingers
would run through his hair. Kasper’s waist. He hopes he could put
his arm around Kasper. And the lips, oh, those lips. He has to kiss them.
Lord, Kasper’s entire body. He desires it! He wants Kasper. He needs
Kasper.
I am literally cringing, I am squirming and making animalistic sounds re-writing this. Honestly, this is just disgusting and stupid but I have a bad reputation to uphold so yeah, deal with it.
And now, it is settled that it is obviously I who is the God of cringe.
It was blocked again and so Kankon backed back up to a circling position. JS then stopped circling and looked down at his sword and then quickly looked back up at Kankon. He then firmed his grip on his sword with his leather gloved hand, then he tightened all his muscles and started running straight for Kankon with his sword flying behind him, like people do with their sword, when they are going to charge strike someone.
At least yours was, for the most part, grammatically correct. I didn't even know how to use a comma properly. Take that! Bwhahahahahaha!
@Esfandiar C. Hale,That's the thing. It wasn't meant to be funny. In my childhood mind, I saw it as this epic, serious battle full of action. Also, how is horrible grammatical errors not cringe? Nothing cringes me more than run-on sentences, improper comma usage, and over-explaining something with crappy descriptions.
"...like people do with their sword, when they are going to charge strike someone."
Everything about that one single line makes me want to gag. XD
Oh well, this was fun. Unfortunately, I'm out of time. Gotta spend some time with the parents today. I enjoyed battling you, Hale. However, you will never be able to convince me that your writing is worse than my 12-year-old writing. XD
And probably Regina's brave and maybe caring for the one's who had benefited before, but she's a little sentimental, and I guess they shouldn't have fought. One of them must have taken Levon to the clinic and the others would have guarded the surroundings. Well Jay your story is flowing fresh like a river. Keep up the good work.
And Regina I must say she needs to use her brain instead of heart.
I really appreciate the feedback you've given me so far. Looking forward to your thoughts on the rest of the chapters. :)
He's very much a pragmatic person. What he says in this chapter is logically accurate, but being logically correct isn't always morally comfortable.
The first was listening to the "Virtual Barbershop" binaural audio experience on YouTube. You can listen to it here: ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUDTlvagjJA ).
It's what introduced me to the fact that you could make 3d audio stories.
The second was finding a YouTube channel run by a man who was blind at birth. His content primarily discussed what life was like for someone who was blind, but there was one video he did that stuck out to me. He was working with another YouTuber who was considered legally blind. They were discussing ways video creators could cater more to the visually impaired by providing descriptive audio descriptions of what was being shown in video. This sparked an idea in me.
Audiobooks would probably be the prime source of multimedia entertainment for someone who couldn't see, right? What if I created a cinematic, audio-movie experience utilizing 3d technology? From there, I had my mission.
It first started when I was around 12 years old. I was trying to immortalize a play-pretend game my sister and I used to play when we were kids. It was about two kids who got teleported to a different world and got caught up in a war that was taking place there. Fun fact, those two kids were Jay and Lina, who used to be the main characters. Back then, I was stealing a lot of ideas from Chronicles of Narnia, what with there being talking animals (including a beaver called Chopper). I still have that version of the story, complete with the original illustrations. You can see a sample of it on my Instagram here: ( https://www.instagram.com/p/CO5jwfenisb/?hl=en ).
As I grew up, my writing would keep maturing, and I wanted to find a better, more interesting way to tell the story. It went through many changes. Jake Soloman used to be JS, who then became Jason Stevenson, who then became Jake Soloman. Nicolae used to be based on a friend of mine from elementary school named Nick, and originally he used to have spiky blond hair (much like Cloud from Final Fantasy Seven). Regina had been around since the beginning too but hasn't actually changed much, save for she had pink hair instead of red, and her personality has been improved. The rest of the cast came about in the version of this story before the one it is now.
Originally, the group was going to be a military group sent onto a newly discovered world to inspect whether it was habitable, but I canned it because I just wasn't happy with that direction. In all versions, the main plot point was about characters being transported to another world, but in every version I came up with, I just felt like something was missing. I wanted there to be magic, monsters, and war, but I was failing to come up with a proper explanation for all of those elements being there in a way that made sense. That's when I finally had a eureka moment.
A world created by deities long since gone that used the world as a bridge to travel between all worlds. In its decay from abandonment, it starts to lash out and pull items, people, and places from other worlds and traps them inside its own confines. I finally had my explanation for everything. It was also during this time that I had been introduced to 3d audio, and putting the two things together, here we are. A sci-fi fantasy, with elements of horror, grounded in reality. What I have always wanted to write.
Thanks for the questions. I enjoyed answering them, and if you have any more, I will be more than happy to answer.
I did not have a good grasp on the concept of "show, don't tell". Granted, at that time, I had never been taught that.
Also, I still have a problem with the 'show, dont tell' thing. Its kinda hard for me -_-
"I have my own ways," JS said. Then all of a sudden he whirled his sword at Kankon, with a powerful blow. Kankon blocked it, but JS kept striking at him, like in video games when you do a combo attack. Blow after blow, JS kept slashing at Kankon, but Kankon was a good sword fighter for he was a pirate and that's what pirates do best and so he kept blocking JS's strikes, but he was also getting pushed back towards the boulder in which he had been sleeping at.
That's verbatim how I wrote it. My grammar checker went berserk when I put that in. Writing that again made me feel dirty. XD
The hero whirled the villain around to face him. Elijah took a good look
at him. Kasper’s black hair. What would it feel like if he combed his hand
through it? Kasper’s light-blue eyes. He could stare at them all day.
Kasper’s golden mask. That damned thing. He wants to burn it so he
could see that handsome face clearly. Kasper’s elegant, pianist hands
pinned to the wall on either side of his head. He wishes those fingers
would run through his hair. Kasper’s waist. He hopes he could put
his arm around Kasper. And the lips, oh, those lips. He has to kiss them.
Lord, Kasper’s entire body. He desires it! He wants Kasper. He needs
Kasper.
I am literally cringing, I am squirming and making animalistic sounds re-writing this. Honestly, this is just disgusting and stupid but I have a bad reputation to uphold so yeah, deal with it.
And now, it is settled that it is obviously I who is the God of cringe.
It was blocked again and so Kankon backed back up to a circling position. JS then stopped circling and looked down at his sword and then quickly looked back up at Kankon. He then firmed his grip on his sword with his leather gloved hand, then he tightened all his muscles and started running straight for Kankon with his sword flying behind him, like people do with their sword, when they are going to charge strike someone.
At least yours was, for the most part, grammatically correct. I didn't even know how to use a comma properly. Take that! Bwhahahahahaha!
"...like people do with their sword, when they are going to charge strike someone."
Everything about that one single line makes me want to gag. XD
Oh well, this was fun. Unfortunately, I'm out of time. Gotta spend some time with the parents today. I enjoyed battling you, Hale. However, you will never be able to convince me that your writing is worse than my 12-year-old writing. XD