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Comments - 《夏日短篇連載挑戰》第二回：承接篇 | Penana
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Comments - 《夏日短篇連載挑戰》第二回：承接篇
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十三郎(多媒體廢作人)
故事發展起來有點亂，欠缺情節的組織。感覺這一回還是交代二人的關係，女的可能是一個伏筆，但卻摸不清故事的主線。

如果都是第一回內容還好，但來到第二回還是不清楚(是整個故事的一半)，很難觸動讀者。
5 years agoReply
謝謝留言指點，那我把後面才要寫到的一部分加進來，這樣如何呢？
5 years agoReply
十三郎(多媒體廢作人)
@ZoRo Wu,

不一定好或不好，因為要寫出來等大家看看才知道。

或是可以嘗試自己堅持的做法，完成整個作品後再重新檢視。（假如你想改進的話）
5 years agoReply
@十三郎(多媒體廢作人),

好的，謝謝建議。
5 years agoReply
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