Great read so far. I like the different personalities that you've given everyone, including the pompous older brother. In places where there are questions being asked, you should put in the punctuation of ?, despite the fact that we already know that the word asked is already there. Keep up the good work! Also if you need a beta editor, I can definitely help you out!
When Prince Altan greeted Liwa with his small but courageous voice, I felt my heart beat with him in the nervousness and strength, it is a cute and touching scene, I liked it!