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Comments - Heaven's Conqueror | Penana
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lionmouse
That ending though... I'm absolutely intrigued by what could happen next...

Good job on the writing, I like how simple it is. A little bit more description every now and then wouldn't hurt much, though. However, I would-- once again-- recommend to add dialog tags, but I'm starting to realize which character is speaking, so it's all good. 

I don't see any major problems so far, but there are some places that you could put some commas. That may just be me being picky though, so don't mind it if you don't want to.
10 years agoReply
Fridge
Thank you! I'll try to make the dialogue easier to follow and include more desriptions where necessary. 
10 years agoReply
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