This is nice but I would add in a bit of backstory as to how they got there. I would also maybe give it more of a darker feel to change it up a bit to keep the readers on edge but not too much. I like how it is so far tho and would like for you to keep it up. I enjoy the reactions of Akira. Please continue this story but make a couple of changes. If you would like, I could help just drop a message and I'll respond as soon as I can for you. Overall, A exciting and nice story! 😊
Nice opening for the beginning of this story. There are some errors that with a quick fix, would be no problem at all specifically the word, "Guzzum tight". I think you meant, "Gesundheit"? Other than that, I like the part where Akira made these gestures and said that she was telling the readers her life story, I find that humorous ^_^
I'd like to read the next chapter :) Keep it up!
I'd like to read the next chapter :) Keep it up!