以 Facebook 帳號登入
或 註册/登入 以留言 
There were a couple editing mistakes here and there, fairly minor, but otherwise a solid chapter. I like how well sketched out a character Abby is, and I like how devout and trusting the mother is too, your characters feel natural and the narrative flows well!
widowandmother
my chapters usually go unedited. As a mother and guardian to young adults, teens, and younger children I just don't have the time to edit like I should.
Nicole Armas
This is pretty good so far! I'm liking the main character a lot!There's one minor mistake: "such a relationship wouldn't e permitted". The 'e' there should be 'be'. Other then that; everything looks good to me.
widowandmother
thank you so much for pointing that out. I haven't done any editing at all, so didn't catch that mistake
Nicole Armas
@widowandmother, No problem!
ElizabethBecker
That is amazing! I love it
widowandmother
thank you, sweetheart. I'm trying to get another chapter in tonight, we will see how it goes.
ElizabethBecker
@widowandmother, I'm sure it will be great
×
寫下你喜歡這個故事的地方
然後按「加至主畫面」