I'm not good with editing and telling people what I think. Every time I read a story, it always seems fine to me. Yet, people always find problems with my stuff. That was all through my high school life, that happened.



I guess the only thing I'll tell you is, I found a few places where I'd place a few commas or others in it, but I have a tool for that. - If you need some support for editing grammar, there is a site called LanguageTool. I use it, and it highlights blue or yellow words or phrases on what it thinks for grammar.