Search stories, writers or societies
Continue ReadingClear All
What Others Are ReadingRefresh
×
Write down what you like about the story
Install this webapp for easier offline reading: tap
and then Add to home screen.
However, there is one main critique I have, and that revolves the way you describe Lyra's emotions.
I do think it is on the more tell side, as you often come out and say exactly how she is feeling, instead of showing us.
For instance, instead of saying she was lonely specifically, you could describe her emptiness/longing.
I just think it would be a little more impactful if you showed us how she was feeling/her thoughts, instead of telling!
other then that, great story!
And oh yeah, I can practically see the enviroments!! :D
@Seren Felin,