OMG thank you so much!! I'm so glad the environments are coming through clear, that was a huge goal!Yeah, you're totally right about Lyra's emotions. Gotta show, don't tell, right? ♀️ I'll definitely take another crack at making her feelings shine through more. Thanks for the tip, it's a lifesaver!So glad you're digging the story overall though, that seriously makes my day!
然後按「加至主畫面」
However, there is one main critique I have, and that revolves the way you describe Lyra's emotions.
I do think it is on the more tell side, as you often come out and say exactly how she is feeling, instead of showing us.
For instance, instead of saying she was lonely specifically, you could describe her emptiness/longing.
I just think it would be a little more impactful if you showed us how she was feeling/her thoughts, instead of telling!
other then that, great story!
And oh yeah, I can practically see the enviroments!! :D
@Seren Felin,