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Comments - 來寫OO詩 ①：三行詩 | Penana
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Comments - 來寫OO詩 ①：三行詩
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似夜
開頭兩個「曾」可以考慮其他詞彙替代避免重複，第二個「曾」也可以考慮用「亦」銜接。

河凅海漫是小而大，雲散雨旱則是先大而小，層遞上可以一致較為工整。

最後的「花」則出現的略微突兀，與河海雲雨能扣接會更好。

以上建議若有冒犯，請海涵。
2 years agoReply
時無雨
很清晰有效的見解，感謝你對小詩的指點。
2 years agoReply
左中道
很憂也很美👍
2 years agoReply
W.H.
感謝參與❤️

很美的詩～

祝中秋佳節快樂^^
2 years agoReply
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