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Comments - 寫作·魷魚遊戲（試辦）［已結算］ | Penana
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Comments - 寫作·魷魚遊戲（試辦）［已結算］
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kikii
評語來了。

大大有透過描寫裂痕等細節形成恐怖感，加上有畫面感，整體而言不錯。只是劇情對我而言有點零碎。

看這篇文章的時候，我發現大大一直都用逗號，而不是句號開新的獨立句。這會形成了run-on sentence（連寫句），會讓句子、甚至整個段落讀起來割裂哦。

最後，感謝帶來作品~
7 months agoReply
青衣夜座寫書人
謝謝老師的建議，我會嘗試看看的！
很抱歉我的文筆不是很好，
下次我會注意的，
7 months agoReply
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