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Comments - [融合之門]任選三元素，融合一故事 | Penana
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Comments - [融合之門]任選三元素，融合一故事
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Magnum Innominandum
奇幻，我喜歡。故事最大的問題是發展太快，這個很難說，就是故事讀下來整個節奏都不太對，或許是因為所有情節都處理得太簡單了，例如打鬥場面也是一閃而過......另外，有時候該停頓的地方沒停頓，在那個店員的對話上尤其明顯。
故事若果拓展一下相信會很不錯。
謝謝你和你的故事！
8 years agoReply
白櫻蒼成
感謝評論！
8 years agoReply
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