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Write down what you like about the story
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A couple times though there are some tense switches from past to present or vice versa, so I would just advise to keep the tense consistent.
And dialogue that follows up with “he/she said,” or any other verb should have a comma at the end and he/she should be lowercase.
Other than that though, the story is amazing and you did a good job! Awesome job Dre_young4, keep writing!
- Cheeto