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Comments - Heaven's Conqueror | Penana
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Comments - Heaven's Conqueror
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lionmouse
Very interesting so far, however, I do see some things you could improve upon. I look forward to the next chapter. 
10 years agoReply
Fridge
Thank you!  Any and all criticism is helpful so don't be afraid to blast my work xD
10 years agoReply
lionmouse
@Fridge, oh trust me, you wouldn't want me to do that, lol. For now, I'll just suggest that you may want to consider adding dialog tags to most-- if not all-- of your dialog. This way, it's easier to tell who's talking. For example:

"I have not clue who's talking here,"

"But," lionmouse said helpfully, "I do have an idea of who's talking here. I am."

If you ever want more criticism (or help/advice) on something, feel free to send me a message, by the way :D
10 years agoReply
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