Comments - Gods Eternal After the Fall: The Four Branches

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mandideman

@vIRIDIANMIND

# http://www.penana.com/story/4645/bringing-to-life-dead-gods-and-demons

This is the blog in which I explain breeds of blood drinkers, The Cherra, etc. This story is complicated from the get go and it is also pro-LGBT meaning many, many of my characters are either dually sexual (bisexual) or gay. For Penana I will tone down the sex scenes but blood drinking entities are sexual beings.

Also the serpents youkai are descended from the old ones as they call them; big lumbering idiots (dinosaurs. :P ) I have everything from basilisk, wyvern, to mythic sky dragon who control the element of snow and ice.

Some Greek gods will be making appearances; since the python is so closely associated with Apollo at Delphi, I have taken liberty to make him a Pythos and he has a humanoid form of a Greek god...how else can you explain how beautiful he is?

One last note; I briefly touch on a tiny bit Hindu mythology as one of the villains of the story is a Ramanga queen who hails from Hindustan. Again the blog I linked here in this comment will explain what a Ramanga is and what a queen is. I hope you read it. I also hope you enjoy future issues. Might have the guts to post the next issue soon.

10 years agoReply

mandideman

I would love an depth review. This story is based on the Celtic Pantheon as well as the Norse gods. Some is stylized but without knowing exactly what you're talking about, hard to say.

There are many stories with elven cultures; so without plagiarizing those, I used lore and basic elf descriptions to create their realm or plane; Leth'Evana.

Eventually you will see two more realms and the Shadow Realm houses a species of sentient beings that their natural state in the living realm is that of an ether (soul) being. They can become corporeal but it takes great amounts of energy and power in which they get that power from blood. The original name is The Cherra, but eventually become known as Shouten wraiths. Do not think of the Ring Wraiths from LOTR... Totally different.

I have the blood drinking entities, serpent youkai (Japanese word for demon; except they are really not totally demons are they?), and various other animal/humanoid youkai as the precursors to humans. In my stories; the humans pick up the youkai languages and customs.

Also in the story there are many breeds of blood drinkers. I in fact go over this in my blog. Will link it.

The Celtic (pagan) gods of old were randy, married to siblings (happened in many royal houses up until the Victorian era), and generally used to being in charge.

10 years agoReply

You've pretty much nulled any statement I have further on this piece based on the sheer mass and depth you've put into this. You are a super planner my friendly friend. Stylized choices on second reading are obvious, and the few grammatical error do not retract from the piece or greater mythos so don't worry. I did get the whole sibling marriage thing, usually done untastfully in areas like anime, but you have written in such a way that makes the relationship seem inevitable and natural to the character. One of my favorite creation myths involves such a relationship (Izanagi and Izanami) and I would say that you could go even a step further in stylizing each pantheon of gods. Norse mythology involves a lot of primal emotion and body mass, as you probably know, bone made the sky and mountains, the first humans were sweat out of an Ice Giant's armpit, body hair made foliage. And in the story of Izanami and Izanagi, proper etiquette is discussed, rivers are born of urine, combs are burned , headdresses thrown, and death is prevalent throughout...though the sense of regality and "Well to do", if you will, is retained.

I suggest you really get that stylized choice down for each realm or pantheon within this mythos, the uniqueness will shine through because they will be at their core so very human and unalien.

That would be my major critique of your work here, is that the regality and overall mythos feel too well versed and attuned to be something that came from raw human imagination in a sense. This isn't to say what you've done isn't creative, it's brilliant even. Though I get the feeling as if the story is being told from a perspective of someone within this mythos trying to gain membership to their pantheon, so to speak, it's careful to avoid unsavory things at times, things that are relatable. In short, I feel as if the story is being told with bias. This could be a stylized choice though I will read through again to get it down pat whether I believe so or not.

Regardless, the work is inspired and I can tell you put a lot of heart, soul, and intellect into this work. Your voice shines through as clear as songbirds in the morning so keep at it, and know you have a dedicated reader of your work from here on out.

10 years agoReply

Really well done! I get a real sense of the mythology here, it feels ancient and tidal. Other than some very minor grammatical error, though they could just be stylized choices. This all so well done, if you'd like a more in depth review I can PM you if you'd like. Just let me know I'd be more in depth if you would like.

10 years agoReply

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