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Amanda Feltner
It seems like Uglies a little it, which is my favorite saga. But it seems more serious, which is great, and a little more technologically advanced. Also, it has a completely different goal, which is fantastic. Keep it up.
IceChateau777
I really enjoyed this chapter. It's a slow, calm start, and you had me whenyou explained how she felt with the songs and rhe moment she spoke. The complicated jargon is simplified to hear it. I'm looking forward to this story.
Alef Magnus
This had a very slow and relaxed start that could be a problem for some readers who are looking to be entertained and be captured right at the first few lines. But the way you told this chapter made it so easy to read through those big blocks of sometimes scientific text. You got my attention and I was really reeled in when she started her talk. This is gonna be a very interesting story I could already foresee it.
jamber86
Holy crap! Thank you so much for your critique. I read the first chapter of glory and was blown away by your talent, I realize that this story is a slow burn, which can be a problem. There are things I hope to address in the second draft. If you continue reading I hope to hear your thoughts on the plot arches. If you have predictions I would love to hear them, because I'm playing a long game with it.
Alef Magnus
@jamber86, you are talented as well! It would be awesome to get comments on that piece I'm currently writing so I know what to improve. Anyway, gotta tell you though that I'm a slow reader. So I might end up reading this story a chapter a day. I do read a lot of other stuff on here too. But your story is one of the few I have bookmarked. So yeah, I'd try to find time reading and commenting as much as possible.
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