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LittleSingsonger

Interesting premise. Can't wait to delve deeper into this dark world :)

10 years agoReply

Suspicious

Thanks :) It's my first time writing a world like this and I'm having so much fun :D - Suspicious

10 years agoReply

Alef Magnus

Great job at this! I specifically love the line, "That's when I heard the sound that would change my entire life."

I first found the story all over the place because of the narrator's train of thought then realized it was really just her character. And that it actually helped give more background on several characters while setting up for the turning point.

I'm a slow reader so I might take time reading this (gives you more time to keep updating! haha)

10 years agoReply

Suspicious

Thanks for the feedback. Yeah, the story is a bit all over the place at the moment. Working on implementing the main character's personality into the general messiness, but it needs a good cleaning up. Hope you still got some enjoyment out of it though :)-Suspicious

10 years agoReply

Frances

I adore your writing style! Its so clean but the imagery is so vivid! I also found it very interesting that cars make your main character nervous but she works at a gas station. Not going to lie, I thought that was very amusing. All in all, a great first chapter with a solid narrative voice! I can't wait to read more!

10 years agoReply

Suspicious

Thanks for the comment. Comments like that inspire me to write more, and get better. You even gave me some ideas. - Suspicious

10 years agoReply

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