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Comments - 故事創作 | Penana
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Comments - 故事創作
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冷水
這算是一篇微故事，內容言之有物、創作的筆觸還帶著抹不去的情感。
最可惜的是少了點篇幅、描述也可以再生動一些，就像是多一點當下情境的描寫。還有男女之間的一些情感糾結可以再多寫一些，就像是在男孩的女友找男孩分手的那段，照正常來說男孩應該會多些挽留、如果不是，最好也寫一下為什麼沒有留住女友。

以上是我個人的看法。

十分感謝妳提供的作品，如果有想說的歡迎也在留言的地方回覆我。
^_^
8 years agoReply
冷水
不過我也倒挺佩服妳的，我才剛放挑戰那麼一短短時間，居然就能生出一個故事。想了想，實在也不簡單☆〜（ゝ。∂）
8 years agoReply
靜晞
@冷水,謝謝你!!!

也感謝你對我的建議~
8 years agoReply
冷水
@林靜宜,不會：）
8 years agoReply
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